When it comes to life, love and relationships, there are a number of theories, principles, ideologies that help to make sense of dealing with and relating to people. You have the likes of the 4 temperament types (melancholic, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic) and you also have the different love languages that tells your language of love, when it comes to how you give and receive love.

Taking cues and real life examples from either personal experiences or situations that I have come to know and be involved in, I can safely say (there may be more than 3) that there are 3 main people types when it comes to relationships. You’ll probably find out that you’re mainly one (let’s say 90%) of the three, based on your personality, actions and character.

We all know that life is governed by a number of principles, of which some are give and take, send and receive, sow and reap etc. These pairings help to maintain a creative balance in most or all of what we do and experience in life.

Applying these to relationships, for analysis purposes, you and your partner will probably fit into one of these types of people:

The Basket

– Has the capacity to hold and retain some substance (mainly solids not liquids) depending on the size
– Usually plain-looking (look out for these ones) or sometimes has a finely decorated appearance
– Can be quite durable, but it all depends on the material it’s made of

Not so positive:
Because of its holey-leaky nature, no matter how much you pour into it, it never really retains anything (except if what you’re pouring into it is of a hard material like yam or cassava). Put in any form of a liquid, it will appear to retain it, but in a short space of time, it will not be able to hold it.

People who have this nature are often the type that is good are receiving things, demanding things, accepting things but really never giving anything back, whether emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially or financially. They are the ‘what about me’, ‘what’s in it for me’, ‘let’s do my own first and then we can do your own’, ‘let me eat first and I’ll come serve you’ kind of people.
Another way to describe this type of person is “the onion”. All the investments you make into them: time, effort, emotions, feelings etc keep coming up with not much positive returns and the more you peel and unravel their layers, the more you cry at what you find.

The Bucket

– Has the capacity to hold and retain some substance (either solids or liquids – based on its size and volume)
– Usually is plain looking, but sometimes comes well decorated
– Has the potential to last for a long time, except when misuse or abuse is introduced

Not so positive:
The bucket in its original design is quite solid all through, except for the top part which is open in nature. Its design allows it to hold and retain firmly what’s been put in it, but because it has no natural outlet to let out what it’s holding (except when toppled over with some carrying, shaking involved), it may be a task and a half to get something out of it. It will always receive, it will hold, but may not give, without much work of being toppled over.

People who have this nature are also good at receiving and retaining things, they have the potential of giving back but you might have to put in some constant effort to get anything out of them, except there is a “permanent” change in their outlook or like a major change happens to their being, you may just have to keep putting the same effort or doing the same work over and over to get something tangible out of them.

The Tank

– Has the capacity to hold and retain some substance
– Usually, has a solid frame, and one inlet (size varying) to take in substance and one outlet or even more (size varying) to release the substance it holds.

Because of the “natural” outlet that it has been fitted with, a tank will always release and give effortlessly when turned on. It will always receive, it will always hold and it will always give…
People who are of this nature understand that good relationships are built and thrive on maintaining a healthy balance between the different paired principles that make them work (give and receive, sow and reap etc).

Abuse and dysfunctionalism (you can Google the meaning, it has not been registered yet) is inevitable, when one party in a relationship is just prone and happy to receive without giving (na only you wàká come) and also, give without receiving (even Jesus who paid it all, still expects to receive from what we give).

Truth be told, both parties in a relationship may not give evenly in a relationship. The ultimate result is that as we are all designed with the capacity to hold and retain things, as each part gives, the other party receives and vice versa. That’s what helps in ensuring that each person’s tank – emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical etc are constantly being filled by the other.

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